31st May 2025: Cat Obedience classes. Now there’s a thing that’s long overdue. On the syllabus:
(1) Getting back down trees
(2) How to control that stupid loo brush look when they get angry
(3) Controlling their tempers. Learning to be Zen and placid, like dogs
(4) Understanding any words spoken at them at all, for barking out loud
(5) There’s a time and place for licking. Get over it.
(6) Using a toilet to deposit fur balls
(7) Learning to sit on the furniture, not scale it.
(8) Quit staring
(9) How to bite a balloon (OK, that one is mean)
(10) Obey the evening curfew and be silent and respectful, like dogs are.
30th May 2025: That man Knox-Johnston was going on about cats and big cats in his book Running Free. He reckoned that he had a 90ft cat. I was just about to throw out my bath toys when I realised he was on about boats with two hulls. Then he was bothering about boats with three hulls. Why not go the whole dog and have a boat made of twenty hulls? Eh? Eh? Then you could call it a RAFT.
Yaf!