I’ve been asked to write a description of the procedure for dealing with a Dog Overbored situation.
Clearly the best way to deal with an overbored dog is to provide some valuable furniture to chew. When that has been thoroughly shredded, one-
EH?
Oh, Dog OverBoard. Yes. I was coming to that.
As soon as the crew member is missing- no more than 4 milliseconds in the case of an Admiral- then someone else has to point at the overboardee and laugh call out “Dog / other lifeform overboard!” Ideally, the Someone Else should not also be in the water. The human on the helm then gybes the boat so that the floater can be approached upwind. Sails -if they are set- should be dropped or depowered. If the sails were not in use, do not attempt to hoist them in order to drop them.
The boat should be motored back to the unfortunate dog and parked on the windward side. The gearbox is put into neutral, so that the propeller does not thoroughly shred the pet. The transom ladder is then lowered and the crew can watch a dog trying to climb a ladder.
If (and this is not a big if) the wet dog cannot climb a ladder, then a human ladder-user needs to STOP LAUGHING and go in to perform a respectful pickup. Or, in the case of a small but perfectly-formed dog such as moi, throw the victim back on board.
Then dry the dog with a hair dryer.
What do you mean, we’re not plugged in??